Hi, James,
I am a straight woman. Have never had any interest or curiosity or urge to experiment ‘going another way’. I have always been attracted to the opposite sex .
So, I am so glad that you specifically pointed out that homosexuality and/or heterosexuality is not a choice. It frustrates me to no end when people ( that I know and with whom I have had endless discussions about this subject) say that gays don’t have to be gay if they do not want to. ….that they should have the control and sense to go the ‘right way’….. that it is not normal….that God created man and woman for procreation.
How does one argue with ignorance?
My friend, who is gay, and have known all my life has always been ware of his homosexuality but, was ashamed. He told me at a very young age because he trusted me, to keep his secret. Even at that young age I understood his struggle, and never betrayed that trust. It was his story to tell.
He started dating girls at fifteen and lost his virginity to a girl. But, I knew he was not happy. No one knew but myself. However, I never tried to make up his mind for him. He was terrified to tell his parents.
He did not have any guy friends except for the school theater’s cast members. My heart went out to him.
He worked up the courage to tell his parents just before going off to College. His mother was ok with it ( I suspect she knew, deep down) , but it took his father about two years to come around.
He is to this day my ‘bestest’ friend…..he is happy….has a lucrative job ( major magazine) in the city and has been married to his husband for six years.
My point? I agree with you. Homosexuality is not a state of mind, no more than heterosexuality. It is not a psychological issue.
As far as I’m concerned, it is not an issue at all. It is what it is, James.
A loving heart, the integrity and fortitude of one’s mind is what defines a person, straight, gay or bi. The sooner we begin to accept each other, the better off this world will be.
Much love, my friend.

It certainly IS sad and dishonest – I have a ‘friend’ who married a gal after years and years of playing around with guys – does that make him now “straight”?
NOPE – just wearing a mask.
It’s not being true to one’s self to marry or be “in a relationship” just for the outward appearance of it –

Hello Celia! And thanks a million for your thoughtful, empathetic reply (to me)! It comes as no surprise that you understand the issue and that you have been a supportive friend to your gay friend since you were teens. I am certain that your support and friendship have been a godsend to this friend all along. I am glad to hear that he is happy and successful.

I wish more people were just as supportive and enlightened as you clearly are. Unfortunately, there exist people who are fearful and critical of what they don’t understand. There are indeed homophobes… And the notion of conversion therapy, which attempts to change a person’s sexuality (from gay to straight), is a frightening, damaging prospect.

As we know, teenage years are particularly challenging. Finding oneself is not an easy task. A gay teen who has no one to talk with about these issues or who is bullied (as I was, once upon a time, for 3 years of high school, no less) has a path that is further complicated. Some succumb to suicide. That factor alone is cause enough for greater acceptance. I am thrilled that, in recent years, we have seen a proliferation of anti-bullying campaigns in schools and elsewhere. I didn’t bring up my own bout with bullying for any sympathy; I just wanted to illustrate that bullying is (was) pervasive and can leave lingering effects. And, dear Celia, if I had had a supportive friend, such as you, all those years ago, things would have been much easier for me…

The good news is that, over time, acceptance has improved for the gay community. Part of it is simply knowing someone who is gay, perhaps a friend (as has happened in your life) or family member. Tolerance and acceptance are sweeping the country (our country, anyway, among others). Younger people find the notion easier to accept, and that is refreshing. There are increasingly more famous people coming out, which helps foster acceptance. Marriage equality is the law of the land, and this legislation was passed, in part, because opinion polls showed a growing societal acceptance for marriage equality.

At the risk of being too self-indulgent or self-disclosing, some brief additional comments on James’ back story: my experience mirrors that of your friend, in that my father was not accepting of my sexuality once the news hit… He didn’t speak to me for 2 years. My mother and sister were initially caught off guard but quickly came around. And over time, my father also came around to being supersupportive!

And there was a happy ending for me, as I luckily found my soulmate at a young age! We have been together more than 36 years, and we were officially married in 2015 once the laws changed! We have always gotten along great! We are family, and we are happy!

Coming full circle, my Friend, your understanding and acceptance are wonderful virtues. I salute you! Love to you as well…

beautiful posts celia and james… this hit home for alot of ppl
it would be nice for days to tap into these themes with the current gay storylines.. make it more human

it’s a funny world –

James Scott , clearly stated .. this was it for him

which makes me wonder… because most actors are gracious and willingly move on… the lag time between good story and production has to wane on some.
right ? why don’t we ever hear about this ? is this why Victoria Rowell is so vocal and is banned from daytime? is this why Brenda Dickson is not respected… ( she was Jill Foster Abbott )

it’s few and far between about the comings and goings of all the daytime actors.

as for Chandler Massey : wanted to leave to “go to college” AND not be branded playing homosexual. LOL. seems if you can easily portray as such… then you’re the go to man… PLUS his sensitivity , good looks, and calm delivery… yet gets riled… that’s from Sammi. alas… DAYS fans still miss him… and , he’s a gay character…. dang it

EJ and Will are dearly missed